From the darkness below

Well, as you all know, I am no poet, and usually don't express myself that way. But, after this past weekend, after the death of one of my best friend's dad, let me just say that it has been a very rough couple of days. So, for some reason, I put my thoughts into a poem.

From the darkness below

Hearts caught up in a whirlwind of grief,
Silent rage,
Nagging guilt,
Too many ifs and whys,
Too many “will tomorrow come?”s.
I stand, on the brink of the abyss,
That bottomless pit of despair,
Born of sorrow and flooded with tears.
Looking down, frantic to reach those inside.
Hands spread out, searching, leaning forward,
“Take my hand,
catch your breath,” I cry,
never realizing that, the harder I try,
the closer I am to toppling in myself.
Slowly,
Slowly,
I reach down, and catch hold of the one I seek.
That torrent of tears over such a loss
Floats her to the top,
Slowly, slowly.
Little by little, her head appears,
Breaks the invisible lid of the chasm.
A smile, a giggle, a laugh.
The barrier subsides, little by little.
Then, suddenly, her eyes glance below,
And the torrent of tears, the heartbreaking cries
Echo once again from the gulf below.
Stumbling, I fall, losing my balance.
First darkness, despair, and grief.
A silent, wordless screaming prayer.
Then, suddenly, an invisible hand braces my fall,
Holds me steady.
My soul is filled with joy,
And a strange serenity replaces the despair.
All the strength that I had given away to lift her up
Came rushing through me.
Swift as a coursing river,
Strong as a gale,
Deep as the ocean.
One last chance, one last attempt
To wrench her out of that abyss.

Silence. A sniffle.
I look around, and there she is, sitting beside me.
No longer in that inescapable emotional prison,
But sitting there, beside me, on the brink.
Swinging her legs almost merrily.
Every now and then, she looks down,
And remembers that grief, that sorrow.
A tear or two she sheds, but then, she reaches for my hand,
And pats it gently.
Some day she will rise, and walk slowly
Away from the sadness that haunts her.
I will be by her side, to catch her when she falls.
But then, I look over on my other side,
And that invisible presence is there, again.
Maybe I will watch her when she falls to this side,
But that mighty, steadying arm will always be there for her,
Long after I am gone.
I squeeze my empty hand tightly,
Now realizing that it was never empty,
There was someone, something there all along,
Guiding me, holding me, carrying me and steadying me when I fell.

Doubts are dispelled, hesitations are fleeting,
Fears are removed.
All that is left is an overwhelming love,
A fountain of joy, gushing forth into my heart.

From the darkness below, she arose,
And from the light above, joy flows
Into my heart, dispelling fear and doubt,
And led the seed of hope to sprout.