Thursday, November 29, 2007

Chronicles of an Evil Empress

When searching for a title for this blog, a friend of mine suggested that I name it,

"The Chronicles of an Evil Empress."
Now, I personally believe that, if it wasn't for the whole, "World domination will signify the end of the world and the ascension to power of the Antichrist," I would make a pretty good ruler. Maybe not quite yet, but give me a few years. After all, just because you control the Earth doesn't necessarily mean that you do all of the work, right? Well, you certainly have to know enough about "How to Run the World, 101" to keep your subordinates from overthrowing you, but hey.

Over the years I have unified my efforts for world domination with many different types of people: extremely logical, extremely dreamy and slightly naive, brilliantly strategical, in favor of pacifist means, etc. And then, over the years as well, I've collected all these wonderful ideas and could shape them into a plan. But, the whole Antichrist thing comes to mind, and I quickly decide against it.

For those of you who know me and my past and present "true" self, you'll know that, when I was younger, I had a certain amount of innate criminal instinct: plans flashed into my mind about to raid a supermarket, escape with a minimum of injured (all of them merely stunned, of course, no blood involved, EVER), and exit, undetected by supermarket cameras (previously disabled) or traffic ones (I'd have someone on the inside, I guess). And, the funny thing is, with a few years of perfecting my techniques, plans, and instinct, I could have probably pulled it off.

Some of you will be reading this like, "Yeah, right. Not if you're the Annalisa I know." Well, the Annalisa you know went through many changes to come out as she did. I went through many phases, and was equally dedicated to all of them. Good thing I stopped my criminal instinct before it went haywire . . . So, regardless of the fact of exactly HOW I would achieve global domination, I would most likely succeed with the help of a few trusted allies.

After achieving this, I think I would make a good queen, and, as long as my subjects realize that their "rights" were no more than vague figments of their imagination, all would be well. I would definitely set myself up in a nifty little fortress, with air vents that are two small to crawl through, no big red buttons labeled "SELF-DESTRUCT", and, if necessary,"I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation." (Look at "100 things I'd do if I ever became an evil Overlord"). I would never sit around, wallowing in luxury and pampering myself with extravagantly exotic things while my people were starving--or even replete, for that matter. No, that has been the downfall of one too many leaders.

So, seeing as I have no real desire to become the Antichrist or use brute force and war to achieve my goals, let us just say that the world is safe . . . for now.

Thought patterns

Just the other day I discovered a whole new way of thinking: purely linear. Now, most people would categorize my thought pattern as "random", but I believe it to be perhaps even more logical than a more traditional pattern. For instance, while my comments (out loud) would picturesquely form more of a dotted line than a solid one. Think of a road: When there is a solid line, you can see all of it, follow all of it; but, when there is a dotted line, all that you see are fragments of that line.

However, I must confess that my mind does not even tend to follow a dotted line. It's more of a dotted line, with swirls, curved, and connecting dots in the apparently "empty" spaces in between. Fun Fun. The funnest part of all of this is meeting someone who either can follow your "jumps", or actually thinks in the same swirls and curls as my own mind. Interesting, oi?

So, back to where I started at the very beginning: experiencing purely, solid, linear thinking. Now, how did this ever come to be? Truth be told, it was due to an unexpected Ibuprofen overdose (my last ortho appointment left me in so much pain--and therefore, grumpy, by my family's definition--that my Mom gave me some Ibuprofen. What she didn't expect was that it was 3 times my normal dose.)

Not only could some "linear-thinking" friends of mine fully understand what I was thinking, when and why (which was, to say the least, creepy), but also could guess both my next thoughts, and I theirs. I decided that being random and unexpected was far more fun.

Thinking in a solid line, however, did not slow me down--or reduce my ability to multi-task. In fact, just because I was thinking in a line did not mean it was just ONE line. No! I was operating on multiple lines at a time, and kind of jeopardizing my otherwise completely linear afternoon.

I guess I just cannot help being slightly random, even when drug overdoses dictate otherwise. :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tottering Terrapins--the beginning

Hello, and welcome to all!
For personal reasons that I do not yet fully understand myself, I have decided to start a blog. Anyone who knows me knows how utterly unlikely it usually is for me to keep up with any form of journal, but let us hope that this one will outlast all the others.

For starters, the name. Tottering Terrapins. Now, if any of you do not really understand what a terrapin is, I'd suggest using that good old, reliable dictionary and looking it up. Or, I could just tell you. A terrapin is a turtle. Now, I stumbled across this fascinating word while on the Free Rice web site, and it would not leave my mind. So, as to entertain myself while supposedly doing my Geometry work, I started playing around with word combinations. Tottering terrapins suddenly sprang into my mind and made it clear that I was to start a blog with all of my daily experiences, thoughts, and curiosities.

Hopefully, I will describe all of the wonderfully random rantings that my mind comes across in posts to come. But, for now, I wish you all a good day.