Chronicles of an Evil Empress

When searching for a title for this blog, a friend of mine suggested that I name it,

"The Chronicles of an Evil Empress."

Now, I personally believe that, if it wasn't for the whole, "World domination will signify the end of the world and the ascension to power of the Antichrist," I would make a pretty good ruler. Maybe not quite yet, but give me a few years. After all, just because you control the Earth doesn't necessarily mean that you do all of the work, right? Well, you certainly have to know enough about "How to Run the World, 101" to keep your subordinates from overthrowing you, but hey.

Over the years I have unified my efforts for world domination with many different types of people: extremely logical, extremely dreamy and slightly naive, brilliantly strategical, in favor of pacifist means, etc. And then, over the years as well, I've collected all these wonderful ideas and could shape them into a plan. But, the whole Antichrist thing comes to mind, and I quickly decide against it.

For those of you who know me and my past and present "true" self, you'll know that, when I was younger, I had a certain amount of innate criminal instinct: plans flashed into my mind about to raid a supermarket, escape with a minimum of injured (all of them merely stunned, of course, no blood involved, EVER), and exit, undetected by supermarket cameras (previously disabled) or traffic ones (I'd have someone on the inside, I guess). And, the funny thing is, with a few years of perfecting my techniques, plans, and instinct, I could have probably pulled it off.

Some of you will be reading this like, "Yeah, right. Not if you're the Annalisa I know." Well, the Annalisa you know went through many changes to come out as she did. I went through many phases, and was equally dedicated to all of them. Good thing I stopped my criminal instinct before it went haywire . . . So, regardless of the fact of exactly HOW I would achieve global domination, I would most likely succeed with the help of a few trusted allies.

After achieving this, I think I would make a good queen, and, as long as my subjects realize that their "rights" were no more than vague figments of their imagination, all would be well. I would definitely set myself up in a nifty little fortress, with air vents that are two small to crawl through, no big red buttons labeled "SELF-DESTRUCT", and, if necessary,"I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation." (Look at "100 things I'd do if I ever became an evil Overlord"). I would never sit around, wallowing in luxury and pampering myself with extravagantly exotic things while my people were starving--or even replete, for that matter. No, that has been the downfall of one too many leaders.

So, seeing as I have no real desire to become the Antichrist or use brute force and war to achieve my goals, let us just say that the world is safe . . . for now.