Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Left behind

I am having one of those gloomier days, when the sun does not shine as brightly, and the colors around me seem muted by a strange melancholy. This afternoon, I finally was able to identify the cause of my strange mood: I am feeling left behind, in a way. The all-school retreat at Berean (the high school I attended my freshman year, back in CA) starts today. As soon as I heard that, tears started to well up inside me. Why? Because I long to be there. I miss all of my friends there dearly. And now just those at Berean, nor just those at BFA.

As of late, many of my friends have uprooted and left for college, be it a city, a country, or a continent away. And, no matter how many good friends I have around me at the moment, I cannot help but miss others close to my heart.

On this dreary day, my natural ability to be content in any situation has not quite kicked in yet. So, I am going to go eat ice-cream, then go jump in the pool, no matter what I am wearing, and either try and convince myself not to cry at all (having contact lenses is a very good reason not to cry. They get all hazy and sensitive to light if you cry too much) or let my gloom mingle with the chlorinated pool water. Either way, I will come back inside feeling much perkier, and I know that I will pray for and encourage my friends, just like I usually do, instead of wallow in this petty display of loneliness and a degrading self-pity.

Having said this, I am off to eat ice-cream, my true comfort food, and stick that smile back on my face, right where it belongs. Your now-almost-cheerful blonde signing off~ Take care!

2 comments:

hannah said...

i miss you lots annalisa. so sorry i left. i wish i could have taken you with me. i hope that your next year will be full of excitement and new things--mine will be. i'm scared right now, but God is in control. i eat ice cream for comfort too! much love, hannah

Eschew obfuscation! said...

my friend, sorrow is not self-pity.
it is ok to be sad, sometimes. you don't always have to be perky for the rest of us.
love.